2008 was definitely a learning experience for me......the extreme highs were more often than not overshadowed by the crushing lows and i feel 2009 will be truly be the finest year i have ever lived
Jan was supposed to be the year i finally broke free of all the shackles that 5 years at university had placed upon my weary frame...didn't really turn out that way as the teacher of my final subject failed us 4 days before christmas in 2007...which would mean we would have to spend january working on a truly gigantic project just to get by with a pass....it pretty much fell on me to do 95.67% of the work and i truly wouldn’t wish what i had to do on even my worst enemy....i'm pretty sure spending 12 hours a day coding a program in the middle of january in a caravan is not the best for one's mental health....the day i finished that project i spent five hours shivering in my bed.....it was 31 degrees
February was one of the worst months of my life....it started out with my friend's father passing away from cancer when he still was supposed to live for another couple of years...the funeral was truly the hardest day of my short life and i don't want to have to ever experience that again with any of my family members or really anyone....as noel gallagher said "live forever".
February was also home to another landmark moment in my life....the first time i realised i needed some help....
after receiving a pretty heavy knock to my ribs i was sitting in bed when chest pains started to grip me...i had no idea i was so thought it was some sort of heart attack...after nearly calling an ambulance because i didn't realise what was going on i remembered the knock that had been delivered to my chest and realised this was the source of the pain....at the doctors the next day i discovered i had a bruised rib but my blood pressure was still high....the doctor ran a lot of tests over the next week and couldn't work out what was the problem was...i was told that it was due to me worrying about the blood pressure and i should go away and get back to normal life...so i did...but then i was playing golf one day and it felt like my heart was skipping a beat every once in a while...i let it go for a week but it kept happening and decided to check myself in to the emergency department at frankston hospital just to see what was the problem....i was diagnosed as having quite a bad dose of anxiety and that's what was making the blood pressure soar...the doctor there recommended i seek the help of a psychiatrists to deal with the anxiety.....this was truly the best advice i have ever received and my doc was an enormous help....i cannot recommended enough getting help with any form of depression or anxiety......actually talking to someone about it seemed to make everything worthwhile and i was able to see the bright side of life again. unfortunately this wretched illness couldn't save some other people i cared about enormously.
this was an odd period of the year and seems a complete blur now when I think about it.....i started my first full time job (in a less the desirable vocation mind you) but the financial benefits were astonishing...i was also living in st kilda east at this stage and i was having a great time....then one day i cracked and realised that i couldn't keep doing the job i was doing and it would be best to strive for something bigger and that i was qualified for...i also went to sydney again and it was great....i really do love the place and it was probably one of the best three days of my life...it was about this time i started playing in my indie/mid 90's band....these glimpsing 3 hours of practice was what made my week worthwhile.
i pretty much spent this time unemployed but still comfortable enough with the payout from my previous job....i learnt a new language (php for the nerds) and started doing a bit of freelancing web programming/design.....moved back home for a week but then got offered a place in richmond
when i lived in st kilda i always thought my next place to live was somewhere to live within walking distance of the cbd....i had always wanted to live in richmond since i was 16 and it became a reality...the first two months were an exciting time but then my housemate decided to go back to queensland and it stared to fall apart from then on....i was annoyed on two fronts....losing a pretty reasonable housemate who i don't think i ever had an argument with ever in a year of occupying the same premises....and two...the fact that i would have to find someone else to live with and pay the over inflated rent....this wasn’t an easy process and i eventually had to shoulder quite a bit of the rent just to get by....24 year olds shouldn't have to have this sort of weight on their shoulders but foolishly decided to push on trying to pay an extra $40 a week rent but in the end i couldn’t manage it...so moved back to my parents house....this was a supremely good choice as i now have a legitimate chance at saving some coin and going overseas to europe with my brother....
it was around this time that my younger brother turned 21....i had planned for moths an epic documentary for his 21st that was supposed to guest star mike kinsella and jonah matranga etc but it didn’t exactly pan out that way....i instead stayed up for two days making a pretty shonky documentary to be shown at the party...that's all the time i could surrender as i was working on a website and working full time at a warehouse in port melbourne just to get by....in the end we couldn’t even get it to play as my other brother and i were burning it in the car on the laptop on the way to the party and didn’t have time to test it....it didn't work on the tv at the party and were forced to narrated it ourselves whilst it was playing on a laptop...with no sound....truly a shambolic experience....the final product is at http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=U7bF7_e1qmE
i truly felt like a fucking failure in fucking that up but i guess it just wasn’t meant to be on the night...
i also thought i'd dedicate the end of this incredibly long entry to the memory of this man:
1/3 of the greatest australian comedy team ever....the irony in his death was that he was truly the nicest man in radio and went out of his way to help others but in the end couldn't help himself.
this was the second saddest day of 2008:
"i wanna be adored"......you are adored
2009 is shaping up to be an incredible measure of time and i'm just gagging for it pretty much
propangandhi tour, europe trip....my new band (www.myspace.com/needsmoresizzle)....we have a singer now
my vegan metal band without the simpleton attitudes....up teh punx
seeing jimmy eat world on the clarity x10 tour in arizona
playing football (soccer whatever fuck) in europe or here even.....
after the year that has been the only way is up