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Between The Lies

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12/23/95 [10 Jan 2009|12:32am]
Best just to pour yourself a nice cup of something strong to get through all this......

2008 was definitely a learning experience for me......the extreme highs were more often than not overshadowed by the crushing lows and i feel 2009 will be truly be the finest year i have ever lived


Jan was supposed to be the year i finally broke free of all the shackles that 5 years at university had placed upon my weary frame...didn't really turn out that way as the teacher of my final subject failed us 4 days before christmas in 2007...which would mean we would have to spend january working on a truly gigantic project just to get by with a pass....it pretty much fell on me to do 95.67% of the work and i truly wouldn’t wish what i had to do on even my worst enemy....i'm pretty sure spending 12 hours a day coding a program in the middle of january in a caravan is not the best for one's mental health....the day i finished that project i spent five hours shivering in my bed.....it was 31 degrees


February was one of the worst months of my life....it started out with my friend's father passing away from cancer when he still was supposed to live for another couple of years...the funeral was truly the hardest day of my short life and i don't want to have to ever experience that again with any of my family members or really anyone....as noel gallagher said "live forever".

February was also home to another landmark moment in my life....the first time i realised i needed some help....

after receiving a pretty heavy knock to my ribs i was sitting in bed when chest pains started to grip me...i had no idea i was so thought it was some sort of heart attack...after nearly calling an ambulance because i didn't realise what was going on i remembered the knock that had been delivered to my chest and realised this was the source of the pain....at the doctors the next day i discovered i had a bruised rib but my blood pressure was still high....the doctor ran a lot of tests over the next week and couldn't work out what was the problem was...i was told that it was due to me worrying about the blood pressure and i should go away and get back to normal life...so i did...but then i was playing golf one day and it felt like my heart was skipping a beat every once in a while...i let it go for a week but it kept happening and decided to check myself in to the emergency department at frankston hospital just to see what was the problem....i was diagnosed as having quite a bad dose of anxiety and that's what was making the blood pressure soar...the doctor there recommended i seek the help of a psychiatrists to deal with the anxiety.....this was truly the best advice i have ever received and my doc was an enormous help....i cannot recommended enough getting help with any form of depression or anxiety......actually talking to someone about it seemed to make everything worthwhile and i was able to see the bright side of life again. unfortunately this wretched illness couldn't save some other people i cared about enormously.


this was an odd period of the year and seems a complete blur now when I think about it.....i started my first full time job (in a less the desirable vocation mind you) but the financial benefits were astonishing...i was also living in st kilda east at this stage and i was having a great time....then one day i cracked and realised that i couldn't keep doing the job i was doing and it would be best to strive for something bigger and that i was qualified for...i also went to sydney again and it was great....i really do love the place and it was probably one of the best three days of my life...it was about this time i started playing in my indie/mid 90's band....these glimpsing 3 hours of practice was what made my week worthwhile.


i pretty much spent this time unemployed but still comfortable enough with the payout from my previous job....i learnt a new language (php for the nerds) and started doing a bit of freelancing web programming/design.....moved back home for a week but then got offered a place in richmond


when i lived in st kilda i always thought my next place to live was somewhere to live within walking distance of the cbd....i had always wanted to live in richmond since i was 16 and it became a reality...the first two months were an exciting time but then my housemate decided to go back to queensland and it stared to fall apart from then on....i was annoyed on two fronts....losing a pretty reasonable housemate who i don't think i ever had an argument with ever in a year of occupying the same premises....and two...the fact that i would have to find someone else to live with and pay the over inflated rent....this wasn’t an easy process and i eventually had to shoulder quite a bit of the rent just to get by....24 year olds shouldn't have to have this sort of weight on their shoulders but foolishly decided to push on trying to pay an extra $40 a week rent but in the end i couldn’t manage it...so moved back to my parents house....this was a supremely good choice as i now have a legitimate chance at saving some coin and going overseas to europe with my brother....

it was around this time that my younger brother turned 21....i had planned for moths an epic documentary for his 21st that was supposed to guest star mike kinsella and jonah matranga etc but it didn’t exactly pan out that way....i instead stayed up for two days making a pretty shonky documentary to be shown at the party...that's all the time i could surrender as i was working on a website and working full time at a warehouse in port melbourne just to get by....in the end we couldn’t even get it to play as my other brother and i were burning it in the car on the laptop on the way to the party and didn’t have time to test it....it didn't work on the tv at the party and were forced to narrated it ourselves whilst it was playing on a laptop...with no sound....truly a shambolic experience....the final product is at http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=U7bF7_e1qmE

i truly felt like a fucking failure in fucking that up but i guess it just wasn’t meant to be on the night...

i also thought i'd dedicate the end of this incredibly long entry to the memory of this man:

1/3 of the greatest australian comedy team ever....the irony in his death was that he was truly the nicest man in radio and went out of his way to help others but in the end couldn't help himself.

this was the second saddest day of 2008:

rip richard.

"i wanna be adored"......you are adored

2009 is shaping up to be an incredible measure of time and i'm just gagging for it pretty much

propangandhi tour, europe trip....my new band (www.myspace.com/needsmoresizzle)....we have a singer now

my vegan metal band without the simpleton attitudes....up teh punx

seeing jimmy eat world on the clarity x10 tour in arizona

playing football (soccer whatever fuck) in europe or here even.....

after the year that has been the only way is up
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[15 Aug 2008|03:14pm]

bit's happened since i last posted:

- moved to ivanhoe after the landlord at that footscray place was dodgy....moved to ivanhoe where the guy who owned the place was again pretty sketchy but still stayed there for three months....finished uni and moved home

- am now living in st kilda east, been there since may...house is not incredible but the location definitely is. can defs see myself living within 15 mins of the cbd for an extremely long time

- since sunday i've been housesitting this:

it's in caulfield south. once the renovations are done it's probably worth a cool 500-800k....that's the median house price around here haha....place definitely has some charm and it's pretttyy sweet on the inside too.
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[01 Sep 2007|09:29pm]
i'm now living in footscray...west footscray to be exact...moved from seaford on tuesday and i have to say seaford seemed pretty cool in the time i was there and not as dodgy as i thought it would be, well that was until yesterday. when i was moving the last of my posessions out, my car got broken into in broad daylight in the hour i was upstairs packing up all my gear and they made off with my bag...might not seem that bad but inside that bag was a newly purchased mooks jacket and 20gb iriver...fucking spewing

dems da breakz amirite
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[25 Jun 2007|03:04pm]
whilst this time last year i would've been getting ready to fly into rome on the trip of a lifetime....last night i was curled up into a shivering ball on the freezing toilet floor thanks to some amazing (n) gastro and vomiting that went alll night....i had my last fucking exam today and i don't think i've felt any worse...special consideration here we comeeee
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postscript/rant [18 Jun 2007|12:05am]
just listening to the entire gameover discography at the minute....fuck that brings back some good memories....and oh boy do i need some good memories right now.....went to sydney last week...saw probably one of the best shows i've ever been to and smashed some bottles with some pretty awesome human units...

but can't get over this feeling of shittyness....it's probably got something to do with exams and how fucking cold it is and how i never have any money and there's never enough beer in the house but fuck it's depressing....struggling to find the energy to do anything of interest that i would normally do....even made up an excuse to get out of playing league today.....missed the last state of mind show which was shit and it's been all downhill from there really....guess i could've gone by myself but i reckon i had hypothermia from training and the fucking cars on the road had their high beams on which gave me a massive headache but meh.....hopefully things pick up soon...

thank fuck for 90's punk rock and emo hey
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so i'mmmm [30 Apr 2007|12:44am]
living with my brother at the moment....it's pretty sweet, not as close to the city as i would like but that will happen soon..living away from home for the first time is kewl and i seem to have more time. so alas i really wanna get my band started and it will include the following things:

- xl shirts
- propagandhi style snotty sarcastic shit talk (ohhhhh so much shit talking)
- standard tuning but will still be metallic
- proper fucking lyrics that acthel mean something (not "why'd you change mannnnnnnn, friends til the end blah blah blah putyrhatonstraightandstopgoingtobanginabreakevenshirtthey'refuckingshitanywayjustamilesawayclone fuckwit type" lyrics)
- song explanations that don't need to be printed on A3 paper type
- only 1 (if any) merch design
- organise shows with bands that we actually like

i reckon my myspace about me is fairly crisp...and i reckon learning fast car by tracy chapman on guitar would be about my finest effort....
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[17 Apr 2007|12:23am]

i'll always love this album, i might possibly go as far to say my favourite record ever...the song never meant is beyond description and i always give it a play whenever i have done something significant...it was there for me at end visual basic coding project that i was trying to finish for basically 12 hours straight today and most of last week...or when i played my first game of first grade rugby league and didn't die yesterday

everyone should have a record like this
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[24 Feb 2007|04:04pm]
so i finished lolly scramble and am currently downloading a years worth of get this podcasts...so f**cking good

also i am feeling the exact same feeling as last week but with morrissey playing instead

pretty kewl
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[17 Feb 2007|05:08pm]
sitting here listening to culture (of the mindsnare variety) in front of a fan when it's at least 35-40 degrees, reading tony martin's book 'lolly scramble',about to see one of the shows of the year....this is when you realise life is good sometimes...but only sometimes

not been able to find a third housemate to move to chelsea/edithvale/aspendale area is particularly frustrating
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[06 Jan 2007|10:35pm]
so it's 2007 hey....2006 was probably one of my most exciting years on the planet and was probably almost the best year of my life....i need to thank the following for getting me through the year that was the '06:

american football
rugby league
morning again and other related 90'to early naughties metallic hardcore
say anything
grolsch beer and amsterdam mariner ale respectively
mineral's parking lot and these lyrics:

"will you come? and what will i say? "oh...i have been so distant...and
unhappy" (like i could disappear). when i was a boy, i saw things that no
one else could see. so why am i so blind at 22, to the hope that is all
around me - filling up this room. on the road. on my own. waiting for the
words to fall from your tongue, into my ears. when i was a boy, i could hear
symphonies in seashells. so why am i so deaf at 22, to the sound of the
driving snow that drives me home to you"

bit fruity but it's weird to think that mineral were 22 when they wrote one of the classic albums of forever and i've done sweet fuck all...that shall change though

not sure anyone reads lj anymore but i still think of it as a relic of a bygone era
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just for the days whenz your feelingz a bit low [22 Oct 2006|04:00pm]
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yeah [04 Oct 2006|06:48pm]

this still hurts three days after...probably always will....it was the most amazing of seasons too- the friday night game before i went away where we won by 2 with 5 seconds to go, memories of checking the scores of games in internet cafes in belguim, spain, holland and london or the 16 straight games we won. Non sports fans won't ever get it, so shut your fat mouths.

It's also amazing how we get sorta one hot day (not even hot...20+ degrees) and everyone gets out the thongs, mini skirts, fruity clothing and fully thinks we're living in queensland. really gives me the shits...must be because everyone didn't spent three weeks in a european summer in the middle of the coldest part of our winter...unlike me haha
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[25 Sep 2006|04:13pm]
in a few hours hopefully i should be the proud receipent of a tshirt bearing this logo:

peeps should get back into the livejournal i reckon
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WE"RE GOING TO DISNEYLAND [23 Sep 2006|11:19pm]
i'llf tell you fuckingf what life doesn't get ,much better at the moment

someone give me approix $280 for a grand final ticket next sunday

up the fucking vics, guy in the three thousand dollar shuits C'MON
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[16 Sep 2006|01:56pm]
how's how i actually went to two actual sort of hardcore shows this week...first time in ages, the world must be imploding. i must say that the king brown/state of mind show was much better than the post office hotel one last night...just can't get into that place, should move the pool table... unfortunately didn't have a doctors certificate for missing all the other shows that were on lately to give to the scene homegroup teacher, so i may get a detention if they mark the attendance rolls. fuck kb (not reggies beer) were fucking red hot though, played for 6 hours, reg regan references, nice overance/auverance (couldn't find the word in the dictionary) too.
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vail- 8 seconds left in overtime [08 Sep 2006|11:20pm]
so there goes another footy season...wasn't as heartbraking as last year though...the saints put up a good effort though considering they had one leg....also my rugby leaue season culminated in a 56-16 grand final thrashing which was a little hard to take, we did only have 13 players though, fair to say not going to training and everything this week has left a void in my life at the moment, at least the storm are still going...peace out brockie and steve irwin, both mad rooters in my opinion...also just finished the book "the sell in" which I thought would be a typical bullshit read for first year pretentious music "industry" students...i was wrong...she's a beautie
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[14 Jul 2006|06:13am]
good to see it's 6:18am and i don't even feel like sleeping, got home tonight at about 3 after leaving heathrow wednesday at 2.30pm...fair friggin journey and we actually had a good plane for the london to dubai leg of the trip, like i'm talking on demand little tv screen with arrested devlopment, 8 everybody hates chris episodes, world cup games etc etc. we were 1 row back from first class (which had a giant screen in the seat and a palm pilot thing!??11) however for the dubai to melbourne leg it was back to shitty boeing 777 with the most technogical thing being a video tape player in our seats and a crappy screen.

anyway seeing the bright lights of melbourne from the plane is "amazing" and it feels even better that you probably won't have to worry about flying anywhere overseas for a long time...to be honest flying scared the shit out of me for the most part and how's how the worst "turbulence" was over broken hill after about a combined total 40 hours in the air over about a million countries.

the trip:

flew in one of these (sort of...just missing two engines)

from melbourne to singapore then to dubai:

there's moi in the totally fucking sweet emirates lounge, so much food there....from there on we went to rome stayed a night in a glorified backpackers/hotel called hotel giada (still was close to 120-150 euros a night) and watched italy steal a win from australia...wish the commentators spoke english though, was also pretty interesting how big the italian football scandal was in the news.

the next day we boarded the ship from Civitavecchia to set sail for Livorno/Florence. here's some shit pics of the ship:

the rooms weren't very big:

here's florence and some fake statue or something:

sorry about the shit photos, it's probably either the wrong camera setting or smog

the next day was cannes/monaco/monte carlo:

now these three places were the 3rd most impressive thing about the trip, the next ports we stopped at were barcelona, malaga, gibraltor. there's not much to report on these places cos we didn't do any tours and only went into the main shopping districts of each town, although i did find a hardcore shop in barcelona which was pretty sweet, as i walked in they had integrity playing, lolz euros. again smog was featured prominately in these places.

I bought a fender acoustic in lisbon portugal then the next port was spain..again...the ship stopped there 4 times as we were supposed to go to casablanca but that was cancelled due to sea pirates, so it's safe to say i'm pretty sick of me ole mate christophers place of "death".

haven't got a photo for spain but this could be one so i'll put it out there:

the next few days were the best part of the trip, the reason for this was it was almost time to go home and i went on a normandy war tour which was freaking sweet. saw the yank memorial, walked on omaha beach, went to a german battery (which was the only involvement 'straya had in d-day...even though there involvement was pre bombing this battery) and saw two yanks fall flat on their asses. fucking awesome day...haven't got photos cos mum took the camera to paris on the same day. i'm sure if you watch saving private ryan and band of brothers you can sort of get the idea though, what was funny though that omaha beach is just a mad roota beach now, dudes and sheilors just chilling out sunbaking where a million u.s. troops died 60 years earlier.

from normandy on the ship went to rotterdam (didn't get to amsterdam unfortunately) and zebrugge then onto london. now i'm home and even though it's only been 3 weeks i actual didn't recognise my room after being stuck in a dungeon on the ship without a window.

oh well that's the end of overseas travel for me for a while i think and what makes it even better is that i didn't have to pay a cent for any of this. lolz.

p.s. if you're wondering why the bolded words are there you should read this:
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[11 Jul 2006|06:06pm]
finally off that fricken ship thank god...ok let's clear this up....if you're under 55 and thinking about a cruise ship holiday (and like actual paying for it) DON'T..hahah.
in london now, flying out tommorrow, i actually really like it here even though i've only seen one or two streets, the appleseed cast play here on wednesday which is the day we go that could have been some mild fun.

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[02 Jul 2006|08:22pm]
well i don't know to write these stock standard livejournal entries but i'll give it a shot anyway.

so i'm actual on that holiday that i won a fair while ago, we flew emirates business class to singapore then dubai and ended up in rome...i must say i was rather dissapointed with the 2 planes we got.... i was expecting something like a playstation in the back of my seat but it wasn't to be, the service from the flight stewardesses more than made up for the 80's decor though, just amazing people. i hate flying though fuck

in rome we got ripped by a "cabbie" who charged 35 euro for a 2 min drive and watched australia go down in the soccer complete with italian commentary in our hotel room. that was depressing but we only stayed there for one day before we got driven by some old sick cunt out to the ship..and that's where we've been ever since.

oh and the ship did move incase you were wondering, infact i've already being to rome, florence, cannes, monaco, monte carlo, barcelona. since tuesday.

although that may sound grand it does get quite boring on here and i'm convinced the only people on this thing are old people, fat loud yanks, old people, fat loud yanks, jailbait and old people. oh well least i didn't have to pay for it like these other noveu riche wankers. muhaha. i can't post any pics to show i'm not lying but gee i'm missing home a little bit (never thought i'd say that).

cashews later
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place 3d glasses on *NOW* [23 Jun 2006|04:10am]
man being a trying week

exams are finished and i've finished all my work, guess I can finally get siked on my holiday now haha. oh yeah we leave for rome on sunday lolzzzz, man owen are gonna be getting some fully sik airtime on the discman on the plane....eating krispy kremes when you aren't hungry is inadvisable
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